Need help with improving your job skills, finding a new career or job, resume and interview skills, money management, etc.? Visit the library's Recession Resources webpage and find helpful links for today's problems.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Recession Resources
Need help with improving your job skills, finding a new career or job, resume and interview skills, money management, etc.? Visit the library's Recession Resources webpage and find helpful links for today's problems.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
August Computer Classes
All computer classes are free and are for adults. For more information please call 559-1945 and ask for the Reference Department. Class space is available for 8 participants per session.
Computer Basics
Tuesday, August 4 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 7/21
This class provides a basic introduction to the personal computer and its parts. Learn how to use the mouse and navigate the computer screen. There is time for hands-on practice. No computer experience is necessary.
Keyboard Basics
Tuesday, August 11 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 7/28
Basic orientation to using the computer keyboard. Learn to be a more efficient keyboarder. General instruction and hands-on practice. No computer experience is necessary.
Internet Basics
Tuesday, August 25 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 8/4
An introduction to the Internet, focusing on the World Wide Web, using Internet Explorer. Provides an overview of how the Internet is structured and introduces searching on the World Wide Web. Prerequisite: Some experience using a mouse will be helpful.
Computer Basics
Tuesday, August 4 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 7/21
This class provides a basic introduction to the personal computer and its parts. Learn how to use the mouse and navigate the computer screen. There is time for hands-on practice. No computer experience is necessary.
Keyboard Basics
Tuesday, August 11 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 7/28
Basic orientation to using the computer keyboard. Learn to be a more efficient keyboarder. General instruction and hands-on practice. No computer experience is necessary.
Internet Basics
Tuesday, August 25 from 10:00 a.m.–12 Noon
Registration starts 8/4
An introduction to the Internet, focusing on the World Wide Web, using Internet Explorer. Provides an overview of how the Internet is structured and introduces searching on the World Wide Web. Prerequisite: Some experience using a mouse will be helpful.
Author Quinn Cummings Talks With Jennifer Vido
Photo by D. DiPietro
Jen’s Jewels
July 15, 2009
Quinn Cummings
Have you ever wondered what it would have been like growing up as a famous child star? Take Miley Cyrus for instance. Thirty years from now, will she still be remembered as the hit singing sensation and television personality Hannah Montana? Or, will her greatest life achievement to date simply be the role of a loving mother to her precious children?
This month’s Jen’s Jewels has experienced that very dilemma. Quinn Cummings lit up the big screen as a child star and continues to do so today in the eyes of her daughter and loving husband. In her new book, NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from My Awkward and Lovely Life, she tackles her toughest role yet as a mom, wife, and forty-something business woman. From camps to crafts, Quinn takes us on a hilarious journey as she chronicles the adventures of her everyday life.
As part of this interview, Hyperion Books has generously donated five copies for you, my lucky readers, to win. So, don’t forget to look for the trivia question at the end. And, thanks for making Jen’s Jewels a part of your reading adventure.
Jen: My readers recognize your name as being the famous childhood actor from the movie The Goodbye Girl as well as the television series Family. Since, then, you have taken on numerous roles in life as an agent, an inventor, and even a writer. First, let’s talk about your acting career. In what ways did your entry into the business at an early age influence your decision to make an exit? What was the best part of being a childhood star? The worst?
Quinn: I loved the bit between “Action” and “Cut.” I hated everything else. I didn’t like being a public figure when I just wanted to be a kid; I certainly didn’t like having to wait for someone else to give me a job doing what I loved to do. Sadly, statistically, the bit between “Action” and “Cut” was the smallest part of my life and it’s hard to keep loving something which shows up so rarely.
Jen: It came as no surprise to me (having read your book) that after the birth of your daughter Alice, you embarked on a new entrepreneurial adventure. (Your personal drive for success really shines through in your humorous anecdotes.) Please tell us about it.
Quinn: It began because I developed Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome when I was pregnant. It leaves the minute you give birth, but I ended up with some nerve-damage to my hands and wrist, which would be exacerbated by the exact bend in the wrist it took to hold my daughter on my hip. A friend of mine and I started creating a baby-carrier for older babies and toddlers which would displace the weight across your upper body and not just rely on your arm. It took us nine months to create it the perfect shape but it’s a whole new design. We have a patent and everything! You can find it at http://www.thehiphugger.com/; it’s not my first priority any more, but we’re still selling the ones we have made.
Jen: Not only did you start your own business, but in February of 2005 you began to put your writing talents to good use in The QC Report. For those readers unfamiliar with your blog, please share with us its conception, purpose, and significance in relation to modern life.
Quinn: The blog began because I was writing to multiple friends at once, filling them in on the details of my life and I noticed I was cutting-and-pasting freely. It was starting to feel as if I was re-gifting my emails. So as not to feel re-gifty, I decided to write a single blog, tell my friends about it and let them get caught up with us as they were inclined. Two months later, a friend suggested it to Newsweek "Blog of the Week" column and they included it. It was, and I hope continues to be, a fearless examination of how I’m an idiot. I’m loathing putting the word “Significance” to any writing exercise which has included me accidentally insulting a little person. Correction; repeatedly accidentally insulting a little person.
Jen: Your latest undertaking is a hilarious account of your life experiences in NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from my Awkward and Lovely Life. What was the driving force behind your decision to put your life into words?
Quinn: First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. Why do I write? Because of this equation: PP+ 20m= PH(e)2.That is, any Private Pride I feel about my ability to run my life, take care of my child, attend to my business or behave in a way that could be described as competent will be followed, in less than twenty minutes, by a Public Humiliation that is equal to the Private Pride squared. If I So, Quinn logic concludes, if people are going to catch me being an idiot, I might as well tell the story before they do.
Jen: I just had to laugh when I read your story about the “good soap.” As moms, everything we have is common property. Being able to claim something as our own is unheard of! In your opinion, what makes mom’s stuff so attractive?
Quinn: Oh, I wish I knew. If we could discern that special mom-pheromone, scientists could create an anti-version which mothers could spray all over their clothing and their objects. In the meanwhile, my kid is in my party-heels more often than I am.
Jen: Your chapter called Through the Great Room, Past the Gym hits the nail on the head in terms of the present state of our society. We all wanted bigger and better, yet look at where we are now as a nation. How do you think the American household’s need to cut back will positively affect the familial unit as a whole?
Quinn: I’d like to think there will be benefits, but I don’t know anyone who is saying things like “Gosh kids, let’s avoid the crowds in the Hamptons this summer. Let’s cancel the $100,000 a month rental house and just sit around enjoying our backyard and having Game Night!” I know people who are acutely aware of how much longer they have on COBRA and how many people have been laid off from their spouse’s company this year. A friend of mine, her husband having been laid off two years ago, describes herself as an early adopter of the new poverty. We’re all more awake to the things which really matter and what doesn’t (Hi, new car! See you in about five years!), but it’s hard to imagine how living in constant dread positively affects anyone.
Jen: Your story about summer camps in And the Livin’ is Easy was so true. There seems to be a summer camp for everything no matter what the cost or purpose. Not to mention the pressure involved in getting your child in the “right” one. If you could wave a magic wand and create the ultimate camp for your daughter, what would it be and why?
Quinn: She would come back at the end of every day having been encouraged to try something new, make a friend, work through a problem and eat a cruciferous vegetable without sobbing. Mostly, she’d be very, very tired.
Jen: The title of your book is quite catchy. Why did you choose it? And in what way does it best describe the chronicles of your life?
Quinn: Glad you like it. It was the title I came up with that made the marketing department happy, which was only slightly less difficult than writing the actual book. There were a few months there where if I was staring off into space it was safe to assume I was trying to come up with a title which made the marketing department think "Funny!" and "Wildly successful!" We finally came back around to the subtitle of the blog, which I thought up years ago while sitting at a stoplight. It's kind of "Notes from Underground," only girly. It was offered to the marketing department and, thankfully, they gave their big marketing-department collective nod of approval, and we were in the title business. Their only request was that the phrase be in the book, so I spent a taxing but ultimately pleasing week or so trying to crowbar it into the book. It's there, and I like to think it's not blatantly after-the-fact. And what does it mean? Oh, not a thing. But I bless the fortunes for giving me Brenda Copeland as an editor, who heard the title and remembered this bra ad. She felt the visual had the right combination of poor decision-making and potential harm (You will notice the car is off the tracks) and surreal good cheer; those traits say "Quinn Cummings" to me.
Jen: A question I just have to ask…what is the origin of your husband’s name, Consort? Is it a family name? (I like it! My husband’s name is Durbin!)
Quinn: Actually, when I first started writing the blog, I wanted to come up with a name for him which wasn’t actually his name. Consort is the official title for a man who has married a queen but isn’t actually royal himself. Since I am possibly the least regal person ever, I thought it had a certain subtle humor. Now I’m thinking perhaps it was subtle to the point of non-existent, which is where I fear a lot of my humor goes unless I monitor it closely. Although I’m loving your husband’s name and will start bothering friends who are pregnant with putting Durbin on their boy-name list.
Jen: What are your promotional plans for NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE? Will be you be participating in a book tour? Will you be scheduling Author Phone Chats? And if so, how would my readers go about scheduling one? Do you have a mailing list?
Quinn: For the moment, my author tour is small and modest, as befits 2009. I am, however, available for blog book tour events and would love to do Author Phone Chats. Follow me through Twitter (I’m Quinncy), get in touch with me and we’ll make it work.
Jen: Are you currently at work on your next project? Or, are you taking a break for the summer?
Quinn: I have an idea, and am currently in the “Actively avoiding writing it” stage of writing. I’m very good at that stage; it’s when I get everything dreary done in the house. Those copper-bottomed pans are going to sparkle, let me tell you.
Jen: Thank you so much for taking time to stop by and chat with my readers about your new release, NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE. I wish you all the best.
Quinn: Thank you so much for inviting me. I am very grateful to my blog and book-readers for their support and good wishes.
I hope you have enjoyed my interview with Quinn. Please stop by your favorite bookstore or local library branch and pick up a copy of NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from My Awkward and Lovely Life today!
Better yet, how would you like to win one instead? Okay, be one of the first five people to e-mail me at jensjewels@gmail.com with the correct answer to the following trivia question and you’ll win!
What is Quinn’s name on Twitter?
Next month, I will be bringing to you my interview with Awista Ayub, author of the inspirational story HOWEVER TALL THE MOUNTAIN. You won’t want to miss it.
Until next month…Jen
July 15, 2009
Quinn Cummings
Have you ever wondered what it would have been like growing up as a famous child star? Take Miley Cyrus for instance. Thirty years from now, will she still be remembered as the hit singing sensation and television personality Hannah Montana? Or, will her greatest life achievement to date simply be the role of a loving mother to her precious children?
This month’s Jen’s Jewels has experienced that very dilemma. Quinn Cummings lit up the big screen as a child star and continues to do so today in the eyes of her daughter and loving husband. In her new book, NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from My Awkward and Lovely Life, she tackles her toughest role yet as a mom, wife, and forty-something business woman. From camps to crafts, Quinn takes us on a hilarious journey as she chronicles the adventures of her everyday life.
As part of this interview, Hyperion Books has generously donated five copies for you, my lucky readers, to win. So, don’t forget to look for the trivia question at the end. And, thanks for making Jen’s Jewels a part of your reading adventure.
Jen: My readers recognize your name as being the famous childhood actor from the movie The Goodbye Girl as well as the television series Family. Since, then, you have taken on numerous roles in life as an agent, an inventor, and even a writer. First, let’s talk about your acting career. In what ways did your entry into the business at an early age influence your decision to make an exit? What was the best part of being a childhood star? The worst?
Quinn: I loved the bit between “Action” and “Cut.” I hated everything else. I didn’t like being a public figure when I just wanted to be a kid; I certainly didn’t like having to wait for someone else to give me a job doing what I loved to do. Sadly, statistically, the bit between “Action” and “Cut” was the smallest part of my life and it’s hard to keep loving something which shows up so rarely.
Jen: It came as no surprise to me (having read your book) that after the birth of your daughter Alice, you embarked on a new entrepreneurial adventure. (Your personal drive for success really shines through in your humorous anecdotes.) Please tell us about it.
Quinn: It began because I developed Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome when I was pregnant. It leaves the minute you give birth, but I ended up with some nerve-damage to my hands and wrist, which would be exacerbated by the exact bend in the wrist it took to hold my daughter on my hip. A friend of mine and I started creating a baby-carrier for older babies and toddlers which would displace the weight across your upper body and not just rely on your arm. It took us nine months to create it the perfect shape but it’s a whole new design. We have a patent and everything! You can find it at http://www.thehiphugger.com/; it’s not my first priority any more, but we’re still selling the ones we have made.
Jen: Not only did you start your own business, but in February of 2005 you began to put your writing talents to good use in The QC Report. For those readers unfamiliar with your blog, please share with us its conception, purpose, and significance in relation to modern life.
Quinn: The blog began because I was writing to multiple friends at once, filling them in on the details of my life and I noticed I was cutting-and-pasting freely. It was starting to feel as if I was re-gifting my emails. So as not to feel re-gifty, I decided to write a single blog, tell my friends about it and let them get caught up with us as they were inclined. Two months later, a friend suggested it to Newsweek "Blog of the Week" column and they included it. It was, and I hope continues to be, a fearless examination of how I’m an idiot. I’m loathing putting the word “Significance” to any writing exercise which has included me accidentally insulting a little person. Correction; repeatedly accidentally insulting a little person.
Jen: Your latest undertaking is a hilarious account of your life experiences in NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from my Awkward and Lovely Life. What was the driving force behind your decision to put your life into words?
Quinn: First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. Why do I write? Because of this equation: PP+ 20m= PH(e)2.That is, any Private Pride I feel about my ability to run my life, take care of my child, attend to my business or behave in a way that could be described as competent will be followed, in less than twenty minutes, by a Public Humiliation that is equal to the Private Pride squared. If I So, Quinn logic concludes, if people are going to catch me being an idiot, I might as well tell the story before they do.
Jen: I just had to laugh when I read your story about the “good soap.” As moms, everything we have is common property. Being able to claim something as our own is unheard of! In your opinion, what makes mom’s stuff so attractive?
Quinn: Oh, I wish I knew. If we could discern that special mom-pheromone, scientists could create an anti-version which mothers could spray all over their clothing and their objects. In the meanwhile, my kid is in my party-heels more often than I am.
Jen: Your chapter called Through the Great Room, Past the Gym hits the nail on the head in terms of the present state of our society. We all wanted bigger and better, yet look at where we are now as a nation. How do you think the American household’s need to cut back will positively affect the familial unit as a whole?
Quinn: I’d like to think there will be benefits, but I don’t know anyone who is saying things like “Gosh kids, let’s avoid the crowds in the Hamptons this summer. Let’s cancel the $100,000 a month rental house and just sit around enjoying our backyard and having Game Night!” I know people who are acutely aware of how much longer they have on COBRA and how many people have been laid off from their spouse’s company this year. A friend of mine, her husband having been laid off two years ago, describes herself as an early adopter of the new poverty. We’re all more awake to the things which really matter and what doesn’t (Hi, new car! See you in about five years!), but it’s hard to imagine how living in constant dread positively affects anyone.
Jen: Your story about summer camps in And the Livin’ is Easy was so true. There seems to be a summer camp for everything no matter what the cost or purpose. Not to mention the pressure involved in getting your child in the “right” one. If you could wave a magic wand and create the ultimate camp for your daughter, what would it be and why?
Quinn: She would come back at the end of every day having been encouraged to try something new, make a friend, work through a problem and eat a cruciferous vegetable without sobbing. Mostly, she’d be very, very tired.
Jen: The title of your book is quite catchy. Why did you choose it? And in what way does it best describe the chronicles of your life?
Quinn: Glad you like it. It was the title I came up with that made the marketing department happy, which was only slightly less difficult than writing the actual book. There were a few months there where if I was staring off into space it was safe to assume I was trying to come up with a title which made the marketing department think "Funny!" and "Wildly successful!" We finally came back around to the subtitle of the blog, which I thought up years ago while sitting at a stoplight. It's kind of "Notes from Underground," only girly. It was offered to the marketing department and, thankfully, they gave their big marketing-department collective nod of approval, and we were in the title business. Their only request was that the phrase be in the book, so I spent a taxing but ultimately pleasing week or so trying to crowbar it into the book. It's there, and I like to think it's not blatantly after-the-fact. And what does it mean? Oh, not a thing. But I bless the fortunes for giving me Brenda Copeland as an editor, who heard the title and remembered this bra ad. She felt the visual had the right combination of poor decision-making and potential harm (You will notice the car is off the tracks) and surreal good cheer; those traits say "Quinn Cummings" to me.
Jen: A question I just have to ask…what is the origin of your husband’s name, Consort? Is it a family name? (I like it! My husband’s name is Durbin!)
Quinn: Actually, when I first started writing the blog, I wanted to come up with a name for him which wasn’t actually his name. Consort is the official title for a man who has married a queen but isn’t actually royal himself. Since I am possibly the least regal person ever, I thought it had a certain subtle humor. Now I’m thinking perhaps it was subtle to the point of non-existent, which is where I fear a lot of my humor goes unless I monitor it closely. Although I’m loving your husband’s name and will start bothering friends who are pregnant with putting Durbin on their boy-name list.
Jen: What are your promotional plans for NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE? Will be you be participating in a book tour? Will you be scheduling Author Phone Chats? And if so, how would my readers go about scheduling one? Do you have a mailing list?
Quinn: For the moment, my author tour is small and modest, as befits 2009. I am, however, available for blog book tour events and would love to do Author Phone Chats. Follow me through Twitter (I’m Quinncy), get in touch with me and we’ll make it work.
Jen: Are you currently at work on your next project? Or, are you taking a break for the summer?
Quinn: I have an idea, and am currently in the “Actively avoiding writing it” stage of writing. I’m very good at that stage; it’s when I get everything dreary done in the house. Those copper-bottomed pans are going to sparkle, let me tell you.
Jen: Thank you so much for taking time to stop by and chat with my readers about your new release, NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE. I wish you all the best.
Quinn: Thank you so much for inviting me. I am very grateful to my blog and book-readers for their support and good wishes.
I hope you have enjoyed my interview with Quinn. Please stop by your favorite bookstore or local library branch and pick up a copy of NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE Adventures from My Awkward and Lovely Life today!
Better yet, how would you like to win one instead? Okay, be one of the first five people to e-mail me at jensjewels@gmail.com with the correct answer to the following trivia question and you’ll win!
What is Quinn’s name on Twitter?
Next month, I will be bringing to you my interview with Awista Ayub, author of the inspirational story HOWEVER TALL THE MOUNTAIN. You won’t want to miss it.
Until next month…Jen
Jen's Bio:When a twist of fate landed Jennifer Vido at the "Reading with Ripa" roundtable discussion with Kelly Ripa and Meg Cabot, she knew that her career as a French teacher would never be the same. A graduate of Vanderbilt University, Jennifer is a member of Romance Writers of America and reviews books for the major publishing houses, such as Random House, Penguin, and Harper Collins. Currently, she is a columnist and reviewer for www.freshfiction.com, where her popular monthly column, Jen's Jewels, also appears. As a national trainer for The Arthritis Foundation's Aquatic and Land Exercise Programs, she is an advocate for those like herself who suffer from arthritis, the nation's #1 cause of disability. In addition, she serves as Vice-chairperson of the Board of Trustees of the Harford County Public Library where she resides with her husband and two sons. She may be reached at jensjewel s@gmail.com and JenniferVido.com.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Jennifer Vido Interviews Author Julie Metz
Author Julie Metz
Jen’s Jewels
July 1, 2009
Julie Metz
Appearances can be deceiving. Just ask anyone like me who parks in a handicapped spot. Sure, I may not look as if the space is warranted. The doubtful glances make this apparent. But, the titanium parts along with the aches and pains earn me the right to take a few less steps.
This month’s Jen’s Jewels can relate to my situation. From the outside, it appeared as if Julie Metz was living a good life. A loving husband and happy home. It seemed as if she had it all. Then one day, her husband suddenly dies, and what’s left shatters the very existence of her core. In her painfully honest yet uplifting memoir entitled PERFECTION, Julie takes a look back at her life as she comes to terms with reality of her future.
As part of this interview, Hyperion Books has generously donated five copies for you, my lucky readers to win. So, don’t forget to look for the trivia question at the end. Thanks for making Jen’s Jewels a part of your reading adventure.
Jen: Your experience as a graphic artist plays an essential role in the development of your memoir, PERFECTION. So that my readers may have a better understanding of the path that led you to becoming an author, please tell us a little bit about your educational and professional background.
Julie: I grew up in a house that was filled with books and art. My parents both worked as art directors at Simon and Schuster Publishers and my father is a landscape artist. When I was young I attended a Waldorf school and this provided a creative learning environment—lots of handmade cloth and wooden toys, lots of drawing and music. Later I attended more traditional schools where the focus was on writing and study skills. I attended Smith College where I majored in fine art but also took many English Literature classes. This was an exciting time on campus, with lots of discussion about the political topics of the day. After college I returned to my home in New York City and began working in the design field. My last staff job was at Harper & Row Publishers (now HarperCollins). From there I began a freelance life.
Jen: Being a freelance designer and now writer provided you the means in which to explore various aspects of the publishing business. Did you concentrate on a specific area of expertise, or did you branch out and take on unfamiliar topics in hopes of opening new doors of opportunity?
Julie: Before I began writing I was a freelance graphic designer. I have designed book covers for various publishers for about twenty years, and I grew up with parents who worked in the publishing industry. I have seen many changes in the book world since I was a kid hanging around my mom and dad’s offices back in the days before computers. In my design life I try to maintain creativity within the vertical rectangle of a book cover. My writing life started with the memoir PERFECTION, but now that I am working on fiction I am more open to letting my imagination take me to new places.
Jen: Embarking on a career as an author is a grand undertaking due to the complexity of creating a book that will grab the attention of agents, publishers, and of course readers. Your new release, PERFECTION, takes that one step further because it’s the story of your life. First of all, what was the driving force behind putting your life experiences in print?
Julie: After my husband died, I began keeping a journal. I was also writing letters to friends—I have always been a letter writer. The journal and letters helped me stay sane during a crazy time and later became the raw material for my book. At the time of his death my husband was under contract to write a book and at first I thought I’d try to finish that for him. After the revelations of his affairs I abandoned that idea. A few friends had suggested I write about my experiences and I began to think about that. I began working on the book as a kind of personal therapy. A friend who was an editor at Glamour magazine asked me about writing a feature piece. This was my first experience as a professional writer. From there I began working on a formal book proposal and on what would become the first chapters. At this point I didn’t really know what would come of it all, but I knew that I had to see it through and finish the book, whether or not it ever got published.
Jen: As for the nuts and bolts of the project, approximately how long did it take for you to complete this book? And, what was the most challenging part of the process?
Julie: The writing and publication process took about five years. The hardest part for me, without a doubt, were the many times I revisited the middle section of the book, the most raw and painful chapters after I discovered my husband’s affairs. Sometimes I really had to force myself to the desk. But by then I had a strong sense that many other women had been in this situation and that they might get something out of my story.
Jen: In my opinion, PERFECTION is a brutally honest narrative of a marriage gone awry as told through the eyes of a scorned spouse. Ironically, I did not feel as if you were playing the role of the victim. Your tone throughout the book is more of a “this is what happened and look how far I have come” approach. How did you keep it so objective so as not to tarnish the memory of your husband, Henry? (He was highly regarded by his peer group.) I give you much credit for taking the high road. Not too many people in your shoes would have done that.
Julie: I had the benefit of some years that passed after the events I write about in the book. I wanted to take the reader on the emotional journey, through grief and anger, all the way to acceptance. So I would say that time helped give me perspective and made the book more balanced in tone. The book shows one version of the complications of adult relationships, and the consequences of poor choices—Henry’s and mine. We all make mistakes in our lives. Henry made some huge ones. But in the end I feel genuine sorrow for what he lost—the chance to live a full life.
Jen: Besides filling in the missing pieces, how did contacting your husband’s mistresses after his DEATH help you achieve a sense of closure and acceptance for the man he truly was?
Julie: I contacted the other women to get a sense of what other life my husband had been living in the last year of his life. After talking to them I did feel that I knew more but I also saw that there were aspects of the story I’d never be able to find out and that I would have to live with that. So some questions remain unanswered but I was able to begin to think about moving on to a new life on my own.
Jen: As we all know, marriage takes work… a lot of work. You mention in the book that the trouble signs were there had you been looking for them. Do you think Henry was trying to reach out to you but was lacking in the emotional fortitude to make that connection? Why or why not?
Julie: It’s really hard to look back at the situation we were in and imagine what he was thinking at the time, how he rationalized his choices. I feel very changed from the woman who was Henry’s wife. I would behave differently now. I think I would be more willing to see the signs of trouble. What I can be certain of is that while his behavior was damaging to me and our child Henry was suffering as well.
Jen: As is with everything these days, it all comes down to sex. Either it’s too little or too much. It’s difficult for many to achieve the perfect balance. I found it interesting that you reached out to Don Symons at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Please share with us your conversation and how it helped you come to grips with your husband’s betrayal.
Julie: The evolutionary argument suggests that men and women are “hard-wired” for certain behavior: men to seek out as many partners as possible and women to seek out a mate to help raise children. The main question I wanted to ask Don was whether he felt that we were prisoners of our biology or whether we could exert free will in our decision-making. What I took away from our conversations is that the conflict is something we have to live with as modern humans in a culture that changes more rapidly than we evolve, but using the excuse “my genes made me do it” won’t cut it.
Jen: After reading your bio blurb with the mention of your “partner”, I thought you had chosen to seek female companionship. Not so. Will you ever marry again? Why or why not?
Julie: It’s always hard to know what to call your significant other these days! Sometimes I call him my boyfriend, but that sounds like I am eighteen…oh well, we’ll use “boyfriend” today. He and I have been a couple for five years. We are domestically partnered now and our lives are very much that of any longtime couple. We work hard, we divide house chores, we plan vacations when we have extra money, and we discuss our IRA’s. Some of our roles are very traditional: I do laundry and he takes care of our car. I had been wary of remarrying because I feared that it would end badly again and because I wanted my daughter to feel completely comfortable with our new family before I made any more big changes. At this point I can imagine marrying again but we aren’t in any particular rush. It’s not like when you are young and you can’t wait for your big wedding day. If it happens it will be something small for our family and friends, just to celebrate the life we’ve made together. Mostly I care about the happiness of our day-to-day lives.
Jen: The innocent victim in all of this is your lovely daughter, Liza. How will this memoir help her understand the dissolution of her idyllic family life as she once knew it?
Julie: She is now almost thirteen years old. She lost her father when she was six and a half and has now spent five years with my boyfriend as a second parent. Our life looks pretty traditional from the outside and we have worked hard to create a new family. I think she has benefited from the fact that my new relationship is healthier and more stable than the one I had with Henry. She saw lots of fighting during the last years of my marriage. She is a wise child—she would not have described our marriage as idyllic. I do hope that my story will serve as a cautionary tale for younger women like my daughter as they begin to seek out partners. Relationships are work, marriage is work. It’s important to choose wisely and not to be swayed by what’s on the surface.
Jen: Looking back, how has the completion of a memoir changed your perception of your marriage? Yourself?
Julie: I began wiring the book as a kind of personal therapy to help me understand what had happened to my marriage. I try to look back at myself in my marriage with compassion. I was young when I met Henry and in spite of everything I was naïve. The experiences I lived through changed me. One thing that hasn’t changed: I never wanted to be in a relationship where I was constantly jealous and suspicious, and I don’t want to live like that now. The difference is that I am able to be honest with myself about whether I am happy or not.
Jen: If you could turn back the clock, what one thing would you do differently and why?
Julie: I wish I hadn’t been so afraid to look at the reality of my life. When I was married I was a more fearful person and, like many women, I had a lot invested in my identity as a wife and mother. I couldn’t imagine being on my own and I couldn’t imagine myself really taking charge of my life. But I don’t regret being in the relationship because I have my daughter. She is the most important part of my life and I would go through everything again to have her in my life.
Jen: In terms of promotion, will you be participating in a book tour? Will you be scheduling Author Phone Chats? Do you have a website?
Julie: For now the promotional focus is here in New York City. I have been doing newspaper and radio interviews. I have done three readings in Brooklyn. I do have a website where I post news and events, information regarding book clubs, and keep a blog: http://www.perfectionbook.com/ or you can reach the same site at: www.juliemetz.com
Jen: I want to thank you for taking the time to stop by and chat with my readers. I was truly impressed with your honest and open approach to facing adversity in such a public forum as the media. It must have been a cathartic experience for you, and will hopefully lead to bright, new beginnings. Best of luck with the book! It’s a sparkling jewel.
I hope you have enjoyed my interview with Julie. Please stop by your favorite book store or local library and pick up a copy today. Better yet, how would you like to win one? Be one of the first five readers to e-mail me at jensjewels@gmail.com and you’ll win your very own copy of PERFECTION.
What is the name of Julie’s website?
Next month, I will be bringing to you my interview with childhood television star, Quinn Cummings. You won’t want to miss it.
Until next time…Jen
Jen's Bio:When a twist of fate landed Jennifer Vido at the "Reading with Ripa" roundtable discussion with Kelly Ripa and Meg Cabot, she knew that her career as a French teacher would never be the same. A graduate of Vanderbilt University, Jennifer is a member of Romance Writers of America and reviews books for the major publishing houses, such as Random House, Penguin, and Harper Collins. Currently, she is a columnist and reviewer for www.freshfiction.com, where her popular monthly column, Jen's Jewels, also appears. As a national trainer for The Arthritis Foundation's Aquatic and Land Exercise Programs, she is an advocate for those like herself who suffer from arthritis, the nation's #1 cause of disability. In addition, she serves as Vice-chairperson of the Board of Trustees of the Harford County Public Library where she resides with her husband and two sons. She may be reached at jensjewel s@gmail.com and JenniferVido.com.
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